I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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