Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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