actually, I'm a sock model
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
