porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
