hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
