absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
