I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
