I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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