Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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