Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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