Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's shark week go big or go home
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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