if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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