I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
