So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
