I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
