Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
