I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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