Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
