Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
