make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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