Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
