last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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