I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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