if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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