i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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