Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
