my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
