she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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