so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
