whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
