My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
