I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
