hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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