that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
