This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
