So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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