if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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