Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
now i know why i became what i already was.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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