im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
