Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
