got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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