Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
this boner is exhausting
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
