Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
