Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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