you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
