Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize