bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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