I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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