i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
