I'm eating all of the evidence.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Randomize
