they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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