As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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