you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
operation have a gay friend backfired
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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