I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
