Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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