I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
