i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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