We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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