dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize