I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
