PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
